New camera. Big difference.

Not my camera, but Matts. And even I can take good shots with it. I guess you do get what you pay for.

Come ON summer!!!

Can I just say how SICK I am of making lunches? I mean I'm sooooo tired of trying to think of what they are not tired of.

Today was the last day of preschool- pretty fun. They made ice cream and had a total crazy party.

But theres one more week of regular school....ugh. I'm ready to do NOTHING. Except water plants, read and paint. Oh, and parent, I guess. :)

I just ate some yummy barley with mushrooms and spinach. Very random lunch. I just took the leftover barley from dinner last night, added some Hoisin Garlic sauce (random), mushrooms and a handful of torn up spinach. I think this was FINALLY a good choice on my part!!!

I really want to lose my middle junk this summer. Not because I NEED to- because I want to. Like 5 pounds- no more. I mostly need to gain some tone. Which means I need to stop typing and get moving. And Yoga...I need to go back to Yoga.

The picture I added here shows where and why I need to tone up. Size 4, but with a spare tire? No biggie, I guess, but my tummy is a big ole mess.

So, come on summer!!!

Ok, so here we go....

I posted on our family blog about our sucky appraisal- expressing my frustration openly. I'm sure I sounded like a real brat. My apologies.

I can say all this now because things have changed a bit. It seems we are going to take a three year extension on our crappy loan, to bide us some time. This market MUST pick up!

And in the mean time, we have the opportunity to try to get into another house. We found a really nice house we both really like at a very good price. I would never have even looked at except on a whim. It's RIGHT on the road up-country from us- and I alway thought it was so weird because it has this huge block wall in front of it.

But behind the wall.....SOOOOO nice! Clean! Remodeled! Big!! 1600 square feet!!!

I'm not going to get into the details of how we are doing it- but we need prayer and good thoughts towards our chances of getting it!

Theres no other offers, but it is a "Short Sale" and we are at the mercy of banks. It's not bank-owned yet, its much more complicated than that. And we have alot of time to wait. Like, months....

So, throw us your good vibes! We'll need them to make this happen. Approval and speedy processing is what we need.

The picture is of Wyatt in the living room of this house in question....we really love it!

Painters block

I'm learning alot about myself as an "Artist".

I stress myself out SOOOOOOO bad about getting a painting to look right that I totally lock up and cant paint. Pretty unproductive, right?

Well, I finally finished one that I took WAAAAAAAAAAAY too long to do. I loved the way it started- I got the tones right, the sketch was good. But when I really got going, it started to look like crud and I got freaked!

But, Matt basically stood behind me and pushed me to finish- helping me to critique and make some decisions on what needed to happen to get this one right. It was a huge help!

Another down!

UGHH!!!

Soooo tired right now. And SOOOOOOOO much to do. (sorry about my obsession with spelling "so" with multiple "o's"...you get the point, right?)

I am STILL not done with that painting. I am stuck. I can get un-stuck, but I'm not there yet. And with MAtt gone I can't seem to think straight.

How pathetic is that?

We spent all last week and weekend cleaning and working on the house for an appraisal. We were so proud of ourselves, and then the appraiser totally took a dump on us and appraise it retardedly low.

And the kids wont go to bed.

And I have cramps.

Thanks for reading.

Single Parenting blows.

Matt has been gone. Alot. He has been in Concord all week and wont come home until Friday night. Then he's gone again from Monday till wednesday.

And I do not weather this very well. The kids bonkers for him and obsess about him when he's gone. They are all at hard ages right now, too. (I'm whining, I realize that, but it IS my blog, so, deal with it)

I'd feel better if he was doing something he loves, but he's not. He's sort of miserable. And therefore, so am I.

Also, I started another painting and am posting a shot of my progress for accountability's sake. I NEED to get moving on it. In all my free time.

One more down!

Another painting finished. I'm pretty happy with it! I am learning very, very quickly how to paint portraits. I really wish I'd had some training, as I seem to get stuck quite a bit. I am struggling with getting things to look right the first time- right now I have to keep re-painting and re-painting.

I have to get going on my next one as the next mama is very excited and I took so long finishing this one! I'm nervous that people aren't going to want to wait so long for these. And I'm thinking once I do the Etsy store, I will definetly have to charge more. I am investing alot of time and supplies into these and not really making much money- and we really need the money. I just feel so weird setting prices.

Someone told me most artists charge $1 a square inch- which would make these $140! Right now I'm charging $60 plus shipping. Help!

Ok, so, what if I DON'T pose

And Matt just catches my real face, tired at the dinner table.

This is it.

I'm not a rock star. I MAY be an artist, though- thats cool enough for right now.

Thanks for coming here and looking at my freaking face.

Love me?

Vanity backfires- more growing up to do, I guess.

So, everytime I go to a Chinese restraunt, I always check out the placemats with the Chinese Zodiac on them. My sign is the Snake. Heres some Snake info:

"People born in the Year of the Snake are deep. They say little and possess great wisdom. They never have to worry about money; they are financially fortunate. Snake people are often quite vain, selfish, and a bit stingy. Yet they have tremendous sympathy for others and try to help those less fortunate. Snake people tend to overdo, since they have doubts about other people's judgment and prefer to rely on themselves. They are determined in whatever they do and hate to fail. Although calm on the surface, they are intense and passionate. Snake people are usually good-looking and sometimes have marital problems because they are fickle."

How flattering. And how freakishly accurate. (except for the "say little" part- thats NOT accurate) I'm vain. I look in the mirror too much. I think about my clothes and my hair and my overall effect WAY too much. And though I've gotten LESS vain over the years, I'm still embarassingly showy.

My hair isn't blue anymore, but I'm letting it grow very long- I like extremes. And I tend to see myself as art- like I can make myself an exhibit of sorts to express my ideas about culture or aesthetic. I've never felt weird or impropriate about this stuff as an adult and still like to push the envelope with my clothes and jewelry and shoes and stuff.

Well, I tend to like attention, reassurance and flattery- as noted by my OTHER Astrological sign Cancer (although I dont actually follow astrology, I find the signs to be tremendously convicting sometimes).

I'm 30. I'm a mother of three and very happily married- seriously- VERY happy. ACTUALLY married to my soul mate. SO, am I looking around for attention from men? NO! Just....attention in general, if we're being brutally honest.

So, a week ago, I got some attention from a (male)friend that freaked me out. Just flattery, really, but excessive, in my opinion. Enough to make me realize who I am and what I'm doing here. Now, maybe he would have complimented me regardless of how I dress, but it made me realize something.

I am not a teenager. I should not need people to look at me anymore. What is wrong with me? I always say men don't hit on me, so Matt has nothing to worry about. But a friend of mine says that I probably just don't realize it. Really? Men have been hitting on me all these years and I didn't get it?

And now that I feel someone HAS sort of "hit" on me, I'm totally freaked out! I do NOT want this attention. I do not want people- any people to see me as someone whos looking to get this sort of attention.

Ugh. Why am I so lame? When will the realizations of adulthood end? Will I ever be a good person?

I choose not to add a photo. Because it would no doubt be of myself. Being vain. Yikes.